Tag Archives: rant
Only took nearly two hours to get to work this morning. Marmite, you either love it or it causes you to be late. Very late
Currently sat in miles of traffic and going to be very late for work. Thanks, Marmite!
Bored, fed up and bored.
Think I’m getting cabin fever.
‘Tis the season to be a miserable git on the roads, drive around with only one headlight working and put full beam on to make up for it.
You can tell christmas is on the way… the radio is full of shit songs by gash boy bands with tinkly bell noises and slow drum beats.
Polite notice to owners of dogs who attack other dogs without provocation: Keep your fucking dog on a fucking lead. Thank you.
It’s war! A second Christmas tree has appeared in a window a couple of doors down. It’s only November the 17th!
No word of a lie I have just driven past a house and they have already put their Christmas tree up.
And to top things off, I met Raplh shortly after. He doesn’t like me.
Arrived home after missing dentist appointment to find a letter from someone who crashed into me 2 years ago claiming damages. Awesome.
If I was going to have a band, the last one I would choose to be like would be fucking Scouting for Girls. I would avoid his cross eyes too.
Hate how the most retarded, stuck up, self important, lazy, ugly, ignorant twats make fortunes on TV for being uninteresting bastards.
When Will Young opens his mouth I just want to put my foot through it.
First it was Florida Ketchup, then Grass Bird Shit and now it’s: Kitchen Spider Drop! Only me, eh.
Never in my life have I seen such an innocent looking Senior Citizen prescription require so many carrier bags & trips back to the pharmacy!
We all appear to still be here. Thoroughly disappointing, if I’m honest.
Charlotte and Lesley are waiting for the 10.08 to Rapture. It’s only 9.51. Feet’ll hurt soon.
Well, as long as the Bird is still The Word, Rapture can go shit on itself.
Apparently, it’s Philadelphia. So something like 11pm UK time. Not long now. Just cracked open a beer in anticipation.
World ends at 6pm in which time zone?
ITV certainly are adept at hiring incredibly gash punditry.
Life is a massive wanker and I want my money back.
First J.R. Hartley’s book and now Day V Lately’s trance mix. Can’t these people keep a copy of their own shit?!?
Nice hour-long powercut to round the weekend off. Charles isn’t too happy though as she missed the Dancing on Ice result!
I would make a better TV presenter than Adrian Chiles. And I wouldn’t cost as much. Useless Brummie get.
As they say: it never rains, but it pours.
And if you’re selling vegetables, it’s “potatoes” and not “potatoe’s”.
It’s “you’re” not “your” when saying “you’re stupid”, and “our” not “are” as in “for our team”.
He spent three minutes regaling me about how he used to clean 500 toilets and 500 basins. Nothing about catching flies with chopsticks…
And he sounds Mancunian. And looks it.
That crazy Mister Miyagi cleaner is here again, doing some crazy Mister Miyagi toilet cleaning shit on/shit off shit.
Which leads me to ask the question: what the hell are they spending so much money on?! Prostitutes and cover-ups? Cocaine and razor blades?
£9k per year, average 5 lectures a week in a lecture of 300 students – the university “struggles” to make only £13500 for an hour’s work.
You can charge 9k per year if you help poorer students? Who the fuck ISN’T going to be a poor student?! Robbing twats.
I don’t think we’re far away from a return to the Roman Colosseum, with Simon Cowell as Caligula. I think I’d actually enjoy that though.
Yawn X-factor, yawn million adverts, yawn artist pluggage, yawn X-factor. When will you die like Big Brother? Yawn.
A man where I work goes to the toilet with the door wide open and washes his hands by slapping the tap as he passes. I don’t like him.
The cleaning man is doing some crazy eyes-shut mop on, mop off Mister Miyagi shit in reception this morning.
And thus only require simple yes/no/tick/cross/pink/brown answers on a postcard please. Many thanks, Fluffy Peter.
Is this a subtle plan to hasten my demise? Please henceforth change this with immediate effect.
Dear Govt. Do you have so many tax formage with silly letternumbers and knees-bent running around motions in order to confuse me?
Stuck outside and resorted to eating a pasty in the stairwells while holding the brown crayons in a bunch. Otherwise it could get messy.
You’d think that in a building full of “Suits” the toilets wouldn’t be piss-ridden and shit-stained, eh? Right.
The 1st step to fixing a problem is to get people to stop telling you that the 1st step to fixing a problem is admitting there is a problem.
PC World adverts are shit. “A 3 gig RAM”. What’s that? A comedy goat on tour? You’re a technology provider – use the correct phraseage!