Tag Archives: philm 2011

Philm 2011: Inugami: Knowing that Inu meant dog and origami is paper folding, I expected a film about a folded paper dog. It wasn’t.

Philm 2011: Isola: Imagine a Japanese version of Identity with a ghost thrown in.

Philm 2011: Crank 2: Like Crank, only far more entertaining and far more stupid. It was brilliant. When’s Crank 3 due?

Philm 2011: The Beyond: Very good cheesy gore. Very bad cheesy speech dubbing. Very cheesy cheesy disco soundtrack.

Philm 2011: Species: Even with Natasha Henstridge getting her baps out every five minutes, it is still a shite film.

Philm 2011: Vampires vs Zombies: Awful. Just awful. I even tried watching it at 2x speed but that didn’t help.

Philm 2011: 13 Assassins: Epic hour long final fight involving more than 200 samurai versus 12 samurai and a bandit. Outstanding.

Philm 2011: Outlander: Alien learns english quicker than Johnny 5 reads books, defeats the dragon, makes friends & wins the girl. Easy job.

Philm 2011: Salt: Needed a little more pepper. It was a catchphrase moment, good but not the one.

Philm 2011: Pontypool: La langue anglaise est le mal. Il suffit de demander à l’armée canadienne. Et ceux des zombies.

Philm 2011: The Tournament: 30 assasins fight to the death with 1 winner. In Middlesbrough. Yes, Middlesbrough. It was fucking brilliant.

Philm 2011: Siren: You just know from the title that when they get on a boat, it’s bad news. Anyway, they all die. Except the girl.

Philm 2011: Cowboys vs Zombies: Imagine a film where it’s really shit and not much happens. And the main “manly” character has a girly voice

New film idea: Ninja Strippers vs Vampire Nazis vs Cowboy Zombies vs Cannibal Aliens vs Infected Android Samurais. It would be awesome.

Philm 2011: Ed and his dead mother: She’s dead. He’s Ed. Then she’s not dead. Then she’s dead.

Philm 2011: 14 Blades: Donnie Yen gets wrongly set about and shows them what for and gets the girl too.

Philm 2011: Jennifer’s Body: Girl gets sacrificed so band can make it big only she survives as a succubus and people die then she’s killed.

Philm 2011: Samurai Zombie: Boring. Except for the flying exploding cut off heads scenes with over the top gushing blood.

Philm 2011: Ninjas vs. Vampire: Handicam amateur acting special! Managed 10 minutes before giving up. Samurai vs. Zombies would be better!!

Philm 2011: Ip Man 2: …and it’s worth watching just for the fight between Donnie Yen and Sammo Hung. Quality.

Philm 2011: Ip Man 2: imagine Rocky 4, only swap Sly for Donnie Yen and the Russians for pricky Brits. And a load moe fighting. Awesome.

Philm 2011: Blood – The Last Vampire: Shes a vampire killer who’s a vampire. Then she makes a friend who isn’t. And then fights the big boss

Philm 2011: On a side note, the cheesy special effects and tacky gore were truly awesomely brilliant.

Philm 2011: Samurai Princess: OK, so she’s an android, and she wants revenge for the deaths of her 11 friends. Pretty standard stuff then?

Philm 2011: The Good The Bad The Weird: Korean weirdo has map, and is chased by bandits, outlaws, bounty hunter and Japanese army.

Philm 2011: IP Man: When I grow up I want to be Donnie Yen.

Philm 2011: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil: Hillbillies mistaken for psycho killers by college kids in holiday cabin vacation. Really enjoyed it.

Philm 2011: Evil Aliens: Welsh Stonehenge, alien impregnated girl, film crew, UFO geek and crazy welsh farmers have a bit of a tiff.

Philm 2011: Zombie Strippers: Imagine that the title said it all and a bunch of people got eaten. And shot. And pulled to pieces.

Philm 2011: Rubber: A tyre that kills. I kid you not. Very beautifully filmed but very very stupid.

Philm 2011: Doom: Just like the computer game only a different story and not as good. Except for the 5 minutes near the end in first person.

Philm 2011: Hardware: Looked like it was going to be terminator-esque, but actually it was just gash.

Philm 2011: Trailer Park Terror: Bad kids end up at trailer park with priest and zombies. Then they have demolition derby for no reason.

Philm 2011: I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle: After 30 minutes I turned it off. It was brilliant.

Philm 2011: Wasting Away: Zombies don’t know they are zombies after eating infected green ice cream.

Philm 2011: The Warrior’s Way: Samurai cowboy laundromat kills all the baddies, saves the kid, gets the girl and walks off into the sunset.

Philm 2011: Nude Nuns with Big Guns: A nun nearly dies, then kills everyone else. Except her girlfriend.

Philm 2011: Infestation: bugs and flying bugs cocoon everyone then some wake up and save the day. Or do they?!

Philm 2011: Lesbian Vampire Killers: James Cordon really can’t act and he kills some lesbian vampires. Replace him with more lesbians.

Philm 2011: Teeth: Zombie vagina of celibate eats a few cocks, then a few men have to get embarrassing operations and then she leaves home.

Philm 2011: Pandorum: Quasi-zombies evolved from crew attack still human crew and some shit happens but I can’t really remember I got bored.

Philm 2011: Martyrs: I really, really don’t know what to say about this film.

Philm 2011: Hell Ride: “Quentin Tarantino Presents” a steaming pile of shit.

Philm 2011: Cowboys & Aliens: I’m looking forward to the sequel – Predators vs. Indians

Philm 2011: Piranha: Swap the shark for hungry fish, the family beach for Summer Break, and the old policeman for Marty McFly’s girlfriend.

Philm 2011: Zombies Zombies Zombies: Scientist finds cancer cure with zombie side effects then everyone except 3 strippers die.

Philm 2011: The Mask. Still good after 17 years! Supercheesy though!

Philm 2011:The Inbetweeners Movie: Just like The Inbetweeners telly show only longer. So of course it was brilliant.

Philm 2011: Falling Down: Michael Douglas plays Phil Steer in American going postal moment.

Philm 2011: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Watch Watch It It.

If you liked Identity, you’ll enjoy Shutter Island. If you thought the end of Identity was crap, you’ll feel the same about this.