What an awesome weekend this has been so far. Or not.
Banging headache. Bedtime…
Philm 2012: Cube Zero: like Cube and Cube 2 only a prequel. It’s nice that they tried to tie it into the first film but it just wasn’t them.
Decided to watch Cube Zero after having had the DVD for only nearly ten years.
I thought I’d live forever, but now I’m not so sure.
You say I only hear what I want to. You say I talk so all the time… so?
Please don’t help me. Please don’t hate me. And stop putting me down. Because I won’t ever understand.
I don’t ask why, I just fall into the meadow. I close my eyes and I wait to die.
Seems everyone was out last night and had a great time. I, on the other hand, was sat. Right here. Exactly where I am right now.
Nidge says I have cabin fever. But I’m in a house?
It’s snowing! Kind of.
I likey Shit Samuel L. Jackson Says — Shit Girls Say Parody Mofo! – http://t.co/uLXy2eY6
Skills to the G. http://t.co/2AhNms8e
Seriously? Not really surprising though. http://t.co/m3OUXBcJ
Press Freedom Index 2011 – 2012 – Interesting reading. Kind of. http://t.co/9MKxNpMO
Not so still life still life: http://t.co/3vfLdPNT
I like grammar-nazis.jpg (http://t.co/whSmRRVt) via http://t.co/AZDsFW9G
You deserve everything you get, bitch. http://t.co/03n0BDhz
“@impymcwimpy: Geek vs. Nerd: Factoids & Stats #Infographic http://t.co/5SGiZhRV” Appears I could be both. What’s that – a Gerd? A Neek?
Foot long subway melt on Italian herbs and cheese, toasted, salad, jalapeños and south west sauce. #omnomnom
If this works as well as it looks like it should, this will be very nice: http://t.co/KtnoYFvI
What an awesome start to the day.
Who then had the cheek to have a go at me and when I started to lose my rag had the further cheek to tell me to calm down.
Just nearly had my car written off by a white van man who thought that by indicating left I meant please attempt to overtake on the left.
Musical interlude: picture yourself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Random… Like an apoplectic cucumber. Like an aggressive daisy. Like a line dancing horseradish. Like an upside down upside down cake. Etcs
Bored. Like a hanging basket. Like a nun’s undercrakers. Like the Pope’s condom drawer. Like Steve Jobs’ wardrobe. Etcs.
@RealBobMortimer Awake… Like a groaning tulip. Like a drunken barnacle. Like Steve wonders eyelids. Like chewed pork chop grissle. Etcs.
Philm 2012: Fearless. Does anyone read this shit? Jet Li is well hard and some stuff happens and he becomes a better man after some bad shit
Tired. Like an overweight cactus. Like a dairy farmer’s repetitive strain. Like Steffi Graf in the women’s showers.
4 pints of like it matters, 3 bottles of what difference does it make, 2 glasses of nobody’s listening and a shot of mneh.
A whole load of who gives a fuck and what the hairy bollocks followed by a tiny parcel of shiny piss flaps in the evergreen bushes of sorrow
NSFW for the naughty swearsies… But I love this: http://t.co/Xnn9jKpF
I likey GET MONEY, TURN GAY – Songify The News – http://t.co/O0ySDjV7
I likey Illegally Parked Porsche Pays the Price – http://t.co/dgf10xyh
@RealBobMortimer You’d better act quick and search for your copy of “Gone in Sixty Seconds” then!
Beeeeaaarrrrdd!
“@b3ta_links: I do hate it when this happens: http://t.co/u3z7YRS6”
Good to know that tech geeks have some sort of a sense of humour! http://t.co/772D0cUT
I don’t usually do the #ff but I’d suggest you follow @TonyCowards …
You can always trust your friends to give you well thought out, sturdy and sensible advice. http://t.co/eHH5pIIx
@_HelenCulver_ this should cheer you up! http://t.co/C8HypHQs
SOPA Author = Moron. It just gets better: http://t.co/NZfpbfny http://t.co/5tVpuTeb http://t.co/EA9TQGIp
@Lottiekins I think this one’s for you! “@TonyCowards: Have written a joke about the medial phalanx, it’s a bit near the knuckle.”
Modern English is Easy: absolutely + total + gash = absototagash
That’s some serious desperation for McNuggets! http://t.co/aPiCANao
I likey The Known Universe HD – http://t.co/jFqiqXSW
@RealBobMortimer Counsillors Cox and Evans, Mulligan & O’Hare, The Stotts “This is your life”…
@TonyCowards I must be having a slow day, that one took me a while!
Philm 2012: Drive Angry: Nic Cage plays Nic Cage in a film where he drives a lot and gets a bit angry.
Philm 2012: Legend of the Fist: When the description says “one man…” – it’s going to be good! http://t.co/I4Dcog0n http://t.co/CYDzT0Ka
I likey Comedian Movie Trailer – http://t.co/CYDzT0Ka
It’s just dropped to -4C up here. Hello Winter!
It’s just dropped to -5C up here. Hello Winter!
It’s just dropped to -2C up here. Hello Winter!
It’s just dropped to -1C up here. Hello Winter!
It’s just dropped to -4C up here. Hello Winter!
It’s just dropped to -2C up here. Hello Winter!
@ncrossland Buy yOur ViAgrA heRe! <closes> <face palm>
I likey Game Fails – Fails of the Year 2011 – http://t.co/SUwYnmVx
I watched this on vimeo: Rippled http://t.co/ffNkfaFH and it was good.
Musical Interlude: In this dirty old part of the city where the sun refuses to shine people tell me there ain’t no use in trying.
At every single moment of one’s life, one is going to be no less than what one has been ~ Oscar Wilde
Philm 2011: Cowboys and Vampires: Better than “Cowboys & Zombies”, “Vampires vs Zombies” & “Ninjas vs Vampires”. That’s not saying much.
Philm 2011: Teenage Space Vampires: So shit, even watching it at double speed and skipping through didn’t make it watchable.
Philm 2011: Ichi: Goze girl is awesome with a sword. Cue lots of slashing blindly. Quality.
Philm 2011: Aragami: Rescued wounded samurai fights Tengu, the God of Battle to the death in quasi-immortal fightage.
Philm 2011: Yo-Yo Girl Cop: A secret agent rebellious girl goes undercover in college with only a Yo-Yo as a weapon. Top Drawer cheese.
Philm 2011: 2LDK: Two actresses fight to the death over a part they’ve just auditioned for.
Philm 2011: Bad Boys: What you gonna do when they come for you? Like, shoot and kill and win and stuff.
Philm 2011: Dan in Real Life: This was actually very good, although almost a chick flick. Steve Carell is very underrated.
Philm 2011: Even though noone gives a shit what I put, here’s the rest of the films I watched last year…
I likey Future Design Laptop – Rolltop 2.0 (New Version) – http://t.co/OhllIk0O
I likey Controlled Quantum Levitation on a Wipe’Out Track – http://t.co/nGtRVpPk
I likey Imperial March on three floppy drives – http://t.co/L4fIz5Ei
Happy new year!
Merry Christmas everybody!
@Sopharina how could you not realise?!? Who else do you know that talks do much shit??!!
@Sopharina took your time! 
I likey Windows 7 x64 Safari iframe vulnerability 20.12.2011 – http://t.co/nC4tpljV
Go on, Kim Jong Il, drop that bass! http://t.co/nQ0HIaVD
I likey The Cadger Dubstep Christmas House – Dubstep Nutcracker Remix – http://t.co/BDcXo3te
I likey The Cadger Dubstep Christmas House – First Of The Year (Equinox) by Skrillex – http://t.co/hK7F76pK
I likey Andrew W.K. – She is Beautiful – http://t.co/vEFgKtJk
I likey Andrew W.K. – Party Hard – http://t.co/JwQELKLW
I likey Trance on guitar – http://t.co/j8tJmxBV
I likey Insane Techno Guitar – http://t.co/7ksMeZrt
I likey Unbelievable 15 yr. old guitarist!!! super fast acoustic shredding – phunkdified justin king – http://t.co/YNrMWsxi
It’s just dropped to -1C up here. Hello Winter!
Merry Fucking Christmas. http://t.co/MGEZtSo0
I likey 須藤元気（Genki Sudo)「WORLD ORDER」の “2012″ – http://t.co/7UoXctQm
A. Mazing. http://t.co/BxWZ0mVa
Baby Sloth Orphanage! http://t.co/4cOHoRaM
@_HelenCulver_ What’s this? It was waiting on my desk for me this morning…? http://t.co/cgLK2II5
It’s just dropped to -1C up here. Hello Winter!
I likey Golden Goal – Elektrosjokkfotball (Electroshock football/soccer with English subs!) – http://t.co/xUe0uJqZ
I like Einstein-lego.jpg (JPEG Image, 480×640 pixels) (http://t.co/xU6Xkj6r) via http://t.co/xU6Xkj6r
I likey Raw Video: Flexible Robot Crawls in Tight Spaces – http://t.co/qVYumu0d
I love this: Bachelors Of Science – The Ice Dance http://t.co/5LJk5vDR
I love this: Danny Byrd – Tonight (feat. Netsky) http://t.co/c5KoT4hj
I love this: London Elektricity – The Plan That Cannot Fail http://t.co/i6xpUAdN
@ncrossland Happy Birthday, sir! When’s the cake coming in?!
I likey Dramatic Chipmunk – http://t.co/MVVTRbqS
Only took nearly two hours to get to work this morning. Marmite, you either love it or it causes you to be late. Very late
Currently sat in miles of traffic and going to be very late for work. Thanks, Marmite!
Bored, fed up and bored.
Think I’m getting cabin fever.
Twiddle my thumbs just for a bit. I’m sick of all the same old shit. In a house with unlocked doors and I’m fucking lazy.
Word of the Day: Esoteric
Musical Interlude: It’s all that I can do to sing these stupid songs to you. I give up half my time just trying to think of words that rhyme
Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward ~ Victor Kiam
Philm 2011: Inugami: Knowing that Inu meant dog and origami is paper folding, I expected a film about a folded paper dog. It wasn’t.
Philm 2011: Isola: Imagine a Japanese version of Identity with a ghost thrown in.
Word of the Day: Forthright
Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass ~ Anton Chekhov
Musical Interlude: Peter’s pecker picked another pickle bearing pussy pepper – why?!
I likey The Black Keys – Lonely Boy (First Listen) – http://t.co/xxZGtaOw
I likey Red Hot Chili Peppers Live Highlights, Sheffield Arena 17th November 2011 – HD – http://t.co/W7wHo3Qy
Jump to 3min 20sec into video. http://t.co/Y8igtYJI You legend.
@kazjones I saw it in a documentary on BBC2!
@kazjones OK, OK. What about one of these instead then? I reckon you could squeeze this in: http://t.co/WupR7bba
Also trying to persuade @kazjones to chuck an AK-47 in for a christmas bunny elf to hold in an xmas design. Not working. Will keep trying.
‘Tis the season to be a miserable git on the roads, drive around with only one headlight working and put full beam on to make up for it.
You can tell christmas is on the way… the radio is full of shit songs by gash boy bands with tinkly bell noises and slow drum beats.
David Thorne continues to piss off co-worker… http://t.co/Q0sigeAS
‘Bout time this got an update: http://t.co/y8PONQlN
Hallowe’en lolz: http://t.co/5JvzvaEz By the way, America, ‘axe’ has an ‘e’ at the end.
Few soft animal cute vids there for you all!
I likey Oskar the Blind Kitten Versus Hair Dryer – Epic Cat Battle – http://t.co/MQvYMSX3
I likey Surreywt: Snoring Dormouse – http://t.co/f93cro11
I likey Oskar the Blind Kitten and His First Toys – http://t.co/oCI2AYmO
I could do with one of these: http://t.co/FN9O5Xpa found via @impymcwimpy
Get to the gym. GET TO THE GYM!!! http://t.co/ZvbkGKSC
Word of the Day: Brusque
Musical Interlude: We listen to the records but don’t believe a word that they say. Take it as a tip from me that fortune favours the brave.
I am not young enough to know everything ~ Oscar Wilde
I like Alien – Contemporary Sci Fi Poster (http://t.co/hUxna2d0) via http://t.co/bGrOiXtM
I like Liquid Sculptures (http://t.co/HyAL9oP7) via http://t.co/9XM8drDw
I want this: http://t.co/zKOrOzJp
I like If you don’t put up a fight… (http://t.co/NAnJOnwQ) via http://t.co/eIRWPcTx
Funky iPhone wrap: http://t.co/tkbE0NDK
Original story link: http://t.co/MG7N7btm
Every single word you’re not allowed to text in Pakistan: http://t.co/KoHLOy84
I likey Trajan is the Movie Font – http://t.co/SmqANBQB
Bus driver attacked by woman with banana: http://t.co/ceTwLQTY
I like Shatner Caaaaaan’t!! (http://t.co/F2nKXFmS) via http://t.co/gqeswUD7
I like Three Dancing Hitlers (http://t.co/EQjhfHdV) via http://t.co/gqeswUD7
Musical Interlude: Don’t think me unkind. Words are hard to find. They’re only cheques I’ve left unsigned from the Banks of Chaos in my mind
Word of the Day: Disconsolate
Every man dies. Not every man really lives ~ William Wallace
Musical Interlude: When you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say live and let live. You know you did.
I likey Siri Proxy demo – http://t.co/yNda92lX
Polite notice to owners of dogs who attack other dogs without provocation: Keep your fucking dog on a fucking lead. Thank you.
Philm 2011: Crank 2: Like Crank, only far more entertaining and far more stupid. It was brilliant. When’s Crank 3 due?
Philm 2011: The Beyond: Very good cheesy gore. Very bad cheesy speech dubbing. Very cheesy cheesy disco soundtrack.
Philm 2011: Species: Even with Natasha Henstridge getting her baps out every five minutes, it is still a shite film.
I likey Ukulele weeps by Jake Shimabukuro – http://t.co/vERQ6OYz
I likey Super Mario Theme – Sungha Jung (Live) – http://t.co/C7YT0Jio
I likey (Movie Theme) Miss*ion Im*possible Theme – Sungha Jung – http://t.co/6pIq9TFz
Musical Interlude: I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed kinda life.
Only the shallow know themselves ~ Oscar Wilde
I like Banksy – Ticket Warden (http://t.co/O5zM06lC) via http://t.co/V1J8OfXL
I like Merged Faces (http://t.co/9rLzq4oD) via http://t.co/Bu9mTpOp
I like Merged Faces (http://t.co/9rLzq4oD) via http://t.co/Bu9mTpOp
I like Brownie Filled Egg Shells! (http://t.co/xBOpXc2u) via http://t.co/D7PwnEqv
I like Brownie Filled Egg Shells! (http://t.co/xBOpXc2u) via http://t.co/D7PwnEqv
It’s war! A second Christmas tree has appeared in a window a couple of doors down. It’s only November the 17th!
I like a world in the universe by hangloose (http://t.co/iEJD8rW8) via http://t.co/f078yMvG
I like Morgan “The Legend” Freeman (http://t.co/CTJtqnI5) via http://t.co/DATbMK1t
I like Fro Cookie (http://t.co/HpQf83RY) via http://t.co/knzAPToH
I like Hate work. (http://t.co/kPv7Zj8w) via http://t.co/XHuDycpP
Musical Interlude: Poets, priests and politicians have words to thank for their positions.
Word of the Day: Crestfallen
I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it ~ Charles M. Schulz
Musical Interlude: An extraordinary guy can never have an ordinary day. He might live the long goodbye but that is not for me to say.
Modern English is Easy: Tight Fisted and Bastard = Tigfastard
I likey 11/11/11 11:11 111111 1111.1 – http://t.co/W3dl1H1t
Oh no! There’s a bear in my bed!
Nope! Chuck Testa.
Any idiot can face a crisis – it’s day to day living that wears you out ~ Anton Chekhov
Musical Interlude: You won’t believe what I tell you, white coats and clever minds will choose.
Musical Interlude: Forget everything and remember. For everything a reason.
I likey Songify This – CHUCK TESTA – a song about lifelike dead animals. – http://t.co/yn2ApfWa
I likey Reality Hits You Hard Bro – Guitar Cover – http://t.co/Lb3IjzAf
I likey Official Ojai Valley Taxidermy TV Commercial – http://t.co/vNMaRxZF
Musical Interlude: You hid there last time you know we’re going to find you.
Musical Interlude: Running around robbing banks all whacked off of scooby snacks
No word of a lie I have just driven past a house and they have already put their Christmas tree up.
My mail has been possessed. http://t.co/fy33m6ot
I like tumblr_lqspclp4iz1r2xh8eo1_1280.jpg (http://t.co/LCZOjhDg) via http://t.co/5XwbLR9i
I like New Manic Doodles from Sagaki Keita illustration drawing art (http://t.co/FqcgdyHH) via http://t.co/EniOOTIC
Musical Interlude: I don’t ask why, I just fall into the meadow.
Philm 2011: Vampires vs Zombies: Awful. Just awful. I even tried watching it at 2x speed but that didn’t help.
@Squirrelphile how very American of you. The word you’re searching for is tosser. And yes, that’s from his solicitors!
Good end to the week. I hope my insurance company shit all over him the lying piece of shit. http://t.co/jpoQO1b1
Philm 2011: 13 Assassins: Epic hour long final fight involving more than 200 samurai versus 12 samurai and a bandit. Outstanding.
Musical Interlude: Every mistake we must surely be learning, still my guitar gently weeps.
And to top things off, I met Raplh shortly after. He doesn’t like me.
Arrived home after missing dentist appointment to find a letter from someone who crashed into me 2 years ago claiming damages. Awesome.
Amazing Sci Fi short. Not bad for $99 budget! http://t.co/qVcI2XzK
Hahahahahahahah. http://t.co/5oMTQWkc
Musical Interlude: It’s a common thing to be out of line, but it’s getting old by the fifteenth time.
Musical Interlude: She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an “L” on her forehead.
I bookmarked http://t.co/k2pUrOjT: Zombie holocaust survival kit (http://t.co/XwVtA46E)
Bugger. I missed tweeting at 11:11:11 on 11.11.11, but to make up for it, here’s a tweet at 12:21 on 11.11.11 which is almost as good.
I like Michelangelo_TMNT_DaveRapoza.jpeg (http://t.co/1P1xnRQv) via http://t.co/aQ45zGku
I bookmarked Oh No They Didn’t! – thirteen movie poster trends that are here to stay and what they say about their… (http://t.co/Gbr2j1DD)
I like 12-tumblr_lgrxidgTV31qziwcjo1_500.png (PNG Image, 500×574 pixels) (http://t.co/NCsgFkb2) via http://t.co/NCsgFkb2
I like p2_by_pulmer.jpg (JPEG Image, 1000×667 pixels) (http://t.co/CZ4ymEgQ) via http://t.co/CZ4ymEgQ
I like marionett_by_pulmer.jpg (JPEG Image, 562×800 pixels) (http://t.co/ymKRvsg4) via http://t.co/ymKRvsg4
I like patrick_tang7.jpg (JPEG Image, 900×1024 pixels) – Scaled (97%) (http://t.co/DW7zlQKm) via http://t.co/DW7zlQKm
I bookmarked World Map Made from Recycled Computers (7 Pictures) > Design und so, Netzkram, Sculptures, urban art … (http://t.co/Z3N3VUqT)
I like Design, replaceface, StevePayne (http://t.co/moterikI) via http://t.co/Pdgkf325
I like 179.jpg (JPEG Image, 1024×744 pixels) (http://t.co/ufUNETUK) via http://t.co/ufUNETUK
I just found out that aibohphobia is the term for the irrational fear of palindromes and the word itself is a palindrome. Just like LOL!
I like Raphael and gingivitis. The ultimate one-two punch.Thomas Mitchell (http://t.co/OStH59OY) via http://t.co/44WwJ9b1
Impressive product tour. http://t.co/oQDRjhI3
I likey Productivity Future Vision (2011) – http://t.co/92kBCLDx
I bookmarked Google Gravity (http://t.co/vmfwQGWs)
@Squirrelphile I want space coffeeeee!!!
@djreid90 It is only as awesome as you think for the first two or three boxfuls. Then, it is woefully dated.
I like asimo.jpg (http://t.co/OAU0fMiI) via http://t.co/9uB4CwUA
I likey HoloDesk – Direct 3D Interactions with a Situated See-Through Display – http://t.co/vSKp0aR8
@gregorybrothers are we likely to see “Best NASCAR Prayer Ever” and “Reality Hits You Hard Bro” on iTunes (or other store)?
I love this: Vampire Weekend – Oxford Comma http://t.co/Mr4QJqkh
I love this: Two Door Cinema Club – Undercover Martyn http://t.co/kRbqX9qL
I love this: The Wombats – Moving to New York http://t.co/zFbie7MC
I love this: Two Door Cinema Club – Cigarettes In The Theatre http://t.co/1DzzSGy6
I likey Photoshop’s New Hover Hand Tool – http://t.co/r24qmcUl
I love this: Logistics – City Life http://t.co/rSx84d61
I like BITmX.jpg (JPEG Image, 673×538 pixels) (http://t.co/r5MJKyUu) via http://t.co/r5MJKyUu
Amongst other things, these tablets may cause drows… http://t.co/HhhEnMf9
Musical Interlude: Running around robbing banks all whacked off of scooby snacks
Bad choice of acronym for plant hire company in the Uk http://t.co/gk6vHSpo
I love this: B-Complex – Black Eternity http://t.co/FgY7ELXE
I love this: Noisia – Red Heat http://t.co/Nb0rYKKx
I likey Fastest Goal in Soccer History – http://t.co/XuHt3dtj
I love this: Pendulum – The Tempest http://t.co/3LumLUhX
Not so bothered about going for Movember. Might embark on Bovember or Fovember though.
I likey Online Checkout – In Real Life – http://t.co/QWQvYPUI
Modern English is Easy: Stupid + Prick = Strick
Musical Interlude: I’ll pack my bags to leave this town, because I’m not welcome back here any more upon these shores.
@ncrossland Yep: http://t.co/S8Uae8Bw Still waiting for #ifttt to add g+ to their channels though! Mister @chaostangent is on there too!
Musical Interlude: I’ll be the one to show you the way, you’ll be the one to always complain.
Musical Interlude: Here’s how the hussle goes, see what the jukebox knows. Put my last quarter on, I play Authority Song.
@RealBobMortimer Pretty Normal Activity #LessScaryRemakes
Modern English is Easy: Pretty + Face = Prace
Modern English is Easy: Bollocks + Arse = Barse
I likey Backin Up Lady Original Video Full Version – http://t.co/e078co0z
I likey iTunes Version – Backin Up Song – http://t.co/tufMBDvo
I likey BED INTRUDER SONG!!! (now on iTunes) – http://t.co/zbhhdvoG
I likey Antoine Dodson warns a PERP on LIVE TV! (Original) – http://t.co/yEltboch
I likey だるまさんが転んにゃ – Stalking Cat – - http://t.co/q6UL6Pyn
I likey a panda sneezing funny – http://t.co/z5roLyq3
I likey Thundercats Theme 2011 – http://t.co/33w6CqRX
Stop! Freeze! You know who it is… it’s me, Witches!
Modern English is Easy: Fucking + Stupid = Fupid
Philm 2011: Outlander: Alien learns english quicker than Johnny 5 reads books, defeats the dragon, makes friends & wins the girl. Easy job.
Philm 2011: Salt: Needed a little more pepper. It was a catchphrase moment, good but not the one.
Modern English is Easy: Bollocks + Arse = Barse
Philm 2011: Pontypool: La langue anglaise est le mal. Il suffit de demander à l’armée canadienne. Et ceux des zombies.
Modern English is Easy: Beautiful + Boobies = Beaubies
Philm 2011: The Tournament: 30 assasins fight to the death with 1 winner. In Middlesbrough. Yes, Middlesbrough. It was fucking brilliant.
Musical Interlude: Staccato signals of constant information, a loose affiliation of millionaires and billionaires
Philm 2011: Siren: You just know from the title that when they get on a boat, it’s bad news. Anyway, they all die. Except the girl.
Me and the dogs are currently dancing like chavs to Drop The Pressure by Project Bassline. Will’s got his whistle and everything.
I likey Pachelbel Rant – http://t.co/BeiXPRPF
Fun with Siri #3 http://t.co/yZZB1E32
Fun with Siri #2 http://t.co/8wyiJJAI
Fun with Siri #1 http://t.co/biiYsn3P
@ncrossland No!, there’s a ghostly figure over your shoulder!!
What a way to start Saturday afternoon! The “Double Cheggburger” http://t.co/NBb0F467
Here we go again – is it today? Is it?! http://t.co/xqi2zPuq
Quality posterage: http://t.co/ecEOzDLs – or try out a preview: http://t.co/egP5GLO2
Genuine quote from a tutorial I was just reading: “Let’s have some real demo so you can touch it by your own self.” Brilliant. Pure genius.
Philm 2011: Cowboys vs Zombies: Imagine a film where it’s really shit and not much happens. And the main “manly” character has a girly voice
New film idea: Ninja Strippers vs Vampire Nazis vs Cowboy Zombies vs Cannibal Aliens vs Infected Android Samurais. It would be awesome.
…cos I like… Birds!
Musical Interlude: I can’t stand in line at the store. The mean little people are such a bore. Bit it’s alright if you act like a turd.
Mother effing text shadow! Handly little bugger this http://t.co/YOARw7vn
Translation error in shoe size gets man size 1,450 slipper delivered. Courtesy of @ncrossland http://t.co/kimuGOaN
@kazjones @chaosangent I’d suggest super glue for that effect!
@Lottiekins I saw this and thought of you! “@RufusHound: Dogs can’t operate the Magnetic Resonance Imaging machine (MRI), but catscan.”
Caught with pants (or knickers in this case!) down? http://t.co/wQwpUZ6e
Philm 2011: Ed and his dead mother: She’s dead. He’s Ed. Then she’s not dead. Then she’s dead.
The people obliged, but he got some in his eyes and now they keep their distance.
There once was a man from Whiston, whose favourite past time was to be pissed on.
Musical Interlude: I felt the hate rise up in me, kneel down and clear the stone of leaves.
Musical Interlude: Can’t just put the cap on the old bottle once you pop it that will spoil it go on and drink it and enjoy it.
Musical Interlude: If you got glitches then your life computer turn it off and then reboot and now you’re back on.
Musical Interlude: If you got riches you got glitches.
Musical Interlude: If you got the dogs you got bitches. Bitches always out to put their paws on your riches.
Musical Interlude: Where there is cheese there are rats. Wherever there is rats there are cats. Wherever there are cats there are dogs.
Word of the day: Melancholy.
Musical Interlude: You say you wander your own land, but when I think about it I don’t know how you can.
Musical Interlude: You say you wander your own land, but when I think about it I don’t know how you can.
Philm 2011: 14 Blades: Donnie Yen gets wrongly set about and shows them what for and gets the girl too.
For further reference: an Oxford comma could be seen as an unnecessary, lesser used, and clever English trick. See what I did there?
Musical Interlude: Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?
Musical Interlude: I stand corrected.
Another awesome weekend just about over. Sorry, yes, that was a fucking lie.
These last two weeks I have been mostly listening to: Two Door Cinema Club – Tourist History. Stonking little album.
Philm 2011: Jennifer’s Body: Girl gets sacrificed so band can make it big only she survives as a succubus and people die then she’s killed.
I went to the doctors and told them I want to die. They directed me to the shop for hair colour.
Philm 2011: Samurai Zombie: Boring. Except for the flying exploding cut off heads scenes with over the top gushing blood.
Philm 2011: Ninjas vs. Vampire: Handicam amateur acting special! Managed 10 minutes before giving up. Samurai vs. Zombies would be better!!
“@rickygervais @RyanBound Inserting it randomly @tom_el_camino personally, I think it is easier to read at the end.” is more entertaining.
I got 91/100 in this html5 kerning game http://t.co/QgALxdgi Not bad for a non-designer!
If you believe in yourself, songified Thumbs up everybody http://t.co/nDcNu51j
Thumbs up everybody, for Rock and Roll! http://t.co/4CDJfPVJ
Original Boogity. http://t.co/B6HD3UtY
Boogity Boogity Boogity Amen! http://t.co/VBElqoSd
Boom boom boom boom. Linky to the original video interview: http://t.co/OKA2xlih
Foom! Fire was everywhere! http://t.co/XcpVtUMh
Philm 2011: Ip Man 2: …and it’s worth watching just for the fight between Donnie Yen and Sammo Hung. Quality.
Philm 2011: Ip Man 2: imagine Rocky 4, only swap Sly for Donnie Yen and the Russians for pricky Brits. And a load moe fighting. Awesome.
View from the Porter Brook this lunchtime http://t.co/lt2zGw8t
Philm 2011: Blood – The Last Vampire: Shes a vampire killer who’s a vampire. Then she makes a friend who isn’t. And then fights the big boss
Philm 2011: On a side note, the cheesy special effects and tacky gore were truly awesomely brilliant.
Philm 2011: Samurai Princess: OK, so she’s an android, and she wants revenge for the deaths of her 11 friends. Pretty standard stuff then?
Philm 2011: The Good The Bad The Weird: Korean weirdo has map, and is chased by bandits, outlaws, bounty hunter and Japanese army.
Highly inappropriate signage on ice cream truck: “Caution. Watch Children”
@RufusHound @DavidGArnold : I heard S&M World was even better…
Cute little buggers that they are. http://t.co/n8VcznPq
Oscar’s poster shot http://t.co/mrB2Db1d
Obligatory hippy-esque sun through trees shot http://t.co/LEkjlsYf
More Autumnal-ness http://t.co/rz6fRNYK
In England, shit weather is never too far away… http://t.co/IN6pmBu6
Same goes for his homie, Oscar http://t.co/mYSpBj6z
Will is always chillin’ http://t.co/bbukgEYE
Outstanding, Dog Soldier! http://t.co/jRrIPqPO
It wasn’t hot at all yesterday http://t.co/Cq1hO8AF
Philm 2011: IP Man: When I grow up I want to be Donnie Yen.
@Schofe I think it went too far after the first one. One was plenty!
Accidental CSS error http://t.co/NPn1A7h9
Amazing WebGL cars: http://t.co/OVWR6aUb
Is Nic Cage a vampire? http://t.co/JnWsGwPV
Man tries to rescue baby great white http://t.co/uDwVafzn
Philm 2011: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil: Hillbillies mistaken for psycho killers by college kids in holiday cabin vacation. Really enjoyed it.
Musical Interlude: I hear your silence loud and clear.
Musical Interlude: It’s a turf war on a global scale. I’d rather hear both sides of the tale.
Monkeys randomly recreate Shakespeare: http://t.co/UUjU5mri
First recorded Irish Spontaneous Combustion case: http://t.co/fuiHXF78
Cute little buggers. http://t.co/QpLrWA4h
Butter wouldn’t melt… http://t.co/JZIBrUMk
Philm 2011: Evil Aliens: Welsh Stonehenge, alien impregnated girl, film crew, UFO geek and crazy welsh farmers have a bit of a tiff.
Philm 2011: Zombie Strippers: Imagine that the title said it all and a bunch of people got eaten. And shot. And pulled to pieces.
Philm 2011: Rubber: A tyre that kills. I kid you not. Very beautifully filmed but very very stupid.
Philm 2011: Doom: Just like the computer game only a different story and not as good. Except for the 5 minutes near the end in first person.
Philm 2011: Hardware: Looked like it was going to be terminator-esque, but actually it was just gash.
@rcktsheffield Friday lunch at the Porter Brook http://t.co/ROXMAyAY http://t.co/B6lmuTWF http://t.co/grUkGaMY
Philm 2011: Trailer Park Terror: Bad kids end up at trailer park with priest and zombies. Then they have demolition derby for no reason.
Philm 2011: I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle: After 30 minutes I turned it off. It was brilliant.
Surely not a fraud psychic! Really? I’m shocked! Or not. http://t.co/CRAZfWfO
Philm 2011: Wasting Away: Zombies don’t know they are zombies after eating infected green ice cream.
Philm 2011: The Warrior’s Way: Samurai cowboy laundromat kills all the baddies, saves the kid, gets the girl and walks off into the sunset.
@rcktsheffield is looking very autumnal http://t.co/fyA30Nh9
Philm 2011: Nude Nuns with Big Guns: A nun nearly dies, then kills everyone else. Except her girlfriend.
Philm 2011: Infestation: bugs and flying bugs cocoon everyone then some wake up and save the day. Or do they?!
I agree to disagree with any agreements or disagreements about either or neither agreeing and/or disagreeing.
Early Sunday morning walk 3 http://t.co/xc1cxo56
Early Sunday morning walk 2 http://t.co/earVJ17R
Early Sunday morning walk http://t.co/Xwc0lmU4
Philm 2011: Lesbian Vampire Killers: James Cordon really can’t act and he kills some lesbian vampires. Replace him with more lesbians.
Philm 2011: Teeth: Zombie vagina of celibate eats a few cocks, then a few men have to get embarrassing operations and then she leaves home.
Philm 2011: Pandorum: Quasi-zombies evolved from crew attack still human crew and some shit happens but I can’t really remember I got bored.
Oscar’s kinda tired http://t.co/gMx8xJy8
And another (although quite a camp pose!) http://t.co/pQ9bYlyv
One cute doggy… http://t.co/n1KZ2L1L
Heather tells me that there are glow in the dark cats wearing jeans that are immune to AIDS because of a jellyfish.
Zombie head smash. I vampires and zombies were real. http://t.co/yy6xC6Uh
@ncrossland I have the same issue. I still haven’t made a site on pretendpsychiatrist.co.uk lol
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Curabitur dictum, neque eget vehicula facilisis, orci tellus venenatis metus metus.
@chaostangent are you hiding in “The Bunker”? Show us the carpets and setteeeeeee!
Musical Interlude: All the lonely people where do they all come from? All the lonely people where do they all belong?
Musical Interlude: Life is very short and there’s no time for fussing and fighting my friends.
Musical Interlude: No-one I think is in my tree. I mean it must be high or low.
Musical Interlude: I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here.
Philm 2011: Martyrs: I really, really don’t know what to say about this film.
Philm 2011: Hell Ride: “Quentin Tarantino Presents” a steaming pile of shit.
Philm 2011: Cowboys & Aliens: I’m looking forward to the sequel – Predators vs. Indians
The one with the little orange face cracked me up and I don’t know why. http://t.co/He7kTVA
Long toilet cubicle very much like London underground tunnels found in Sheffield pub. http://t.co/iYlVwqU
Musical Interlude: Between the click of the light and the start of the dream.
Schoolboy error: Needed the loo badly. Finished the deed, realised no toilet roll. Cue trouser shuffle to next cubicle to rectify situation.
Philm 2011: Piranha: Swap the shark for hungry fish, the family beach for Summer Break, and the old policeman for Marty McFly’s girlfriend.
Philm 2011: Zombies Zombies Zombies: Scientist finds cancer cure with zombie side effects then everyone except 3 strippers die.
Musical Interlude: And so I quit the police department and got myself a steady job.
Embarrassing Musical Interlude: Ain’t no headlights on the road tonight. Everybody is sleeping tight.
Musical Interlude: And I can always find her at the bottom of a plastic cup. Drowning in drunk sincerity.
Musical Interlude: Hang on to your hopes my darling. Don’t let it slip away.
Musical Interlude: What are you sad about? Everyday you make the sun come out.
Musical Interlude: So call if you want to; you know I’m waiting. Call if you want to; I’m so alone.
Musical Interlude: This is not a movie. Things just ain’t the same as your favourite video.
Musical Interlude: You stir my natural emotions. You make me feel like dirt – and I’m hurt.
Musical Interlude: Fires burn and rage for days.
Musical Interlude: I know you thought I’d sold my soul but you never told me to my face.
Musical Interlude: Too late to drop the drawbridge, you let the vampires in.
Musical Interlude: If you’ll be my bodyguard, I can be your long lost pal.
Musical Interlude: Noone cares when you are wrong but I’ve been at this far too long to act like that when we should be in perfect harmony.
Musical Interlude: Underneath and unexplored, island and cities I have looked.
Musical Interlude: It’s hard to be a man when there’s a gun in your hand.
Musical Interlude: And I’ll make you smile, like a drug for you. Do ever what you wanna do.
Musical Interlude: I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul.
Musical Interlude: Can’t understand it when people demand it.
Peyoww peyowww! Green laser gun at wedding do shock! http://t.co/6yC8QQM
Unsuitable manufacturer name for men’s toilets. http://t.co/YWuNkvW
If I was going to have a band, the last one I would choose to be like would be fucking Scouting for Girls. I would avoid his cross eyes too.
Batman origin story like you’ve never read before! http://t.co/zqPPSN0
Portal plus Mario equals Mari0? http://t.co/3KmMtDH
Musical Interlude: Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones. And I will try to fix you.
Philm 2011: The Mask. Still good after 17 years! Supercheesy though!
Philm 2011:The Inbetweeners Movie: Just like The Inbetweeners telly show only longer. So of course it was brilliant.
@h0bx so what you’re saying is that there is still hope yet for a decent Marvel film?
Philm 2011: Falling Down: Michael Douglas plays Phil Steer in American going postal moment.
Philm 2011: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Watch Watch It It.
Musical Interlude: Coming in a mess, going out in style. I ain’t good looking but I’m someone’s child.
Musical Interlude: Most of the time you are happy. You’re a weirdo.
Musical Interlude: I’d rather be a comma than a full stop.
David Thorne is a legend: http://t.co/HjuaXYz
http://t.co/iRLyOR3 Shamelessy stolen from an email from @ncrossland
Word of the Day: Trepidation.
Film Quotage: “I’m starving. I haven’t eaten since later today.”
Musical Interlude: I’m starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office.
Musical Interlude: I’d chime in with a “Haven’t you people ever heard of closing a god damn door?” No.
Musical Interlude: Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
Musical interlude: P-p-p-p-pause that, a-a-a-abort that!
@qikipedia in Chinese, I believe “ma” means both “Mother” and “Horse”.
End of first week of new job, all going well so far!
New workplace photos #10 http://t.co/Sg5UDcJ
New workplace photos #9 http://t.co/tZx3TBA
New workplace photos #9 http://t.co/sRe87AH
New workplace photos #8 http://t.co/O2cAtSj
New workplace photos #7 http://t.co/CkwSwbh
New workplace photos #6 http://t.co/GxCnBo8
New workplace photos #5 http://t.co/6zHRaNj
New workplace photos #4 http://t.co/VOUV2Ii
New workplace photos #3 http://t.co/hUSAcpQ
New workplace photos #2 http://t.co/ywjq6Dj
New workplace photos #1 http://t.co/Dxc95P7
Just home from my first day @rcktsheffield – went ok I think!
At BDTBL with Uncle Bob!
Hahahahahaaaatchooooo! http://t.co/iXhjMxP
William & Oscar’s new friend – Poppy the Springer Spaniel http://t.co/usVuTnd
I’m on google+, find me at gplus.to/pdincubus
At Beautiful Down town Bramall Lane with Our Kid Joe!
Big queue at the ticket office! Looks like it might be fairly busy game!
Woop! New job! Off to celebrate now!
Hear me out here. I’m sure that this song: http://t.co/DUyADpl is the same tune as this one: http://t.co/jR0HuHR
Link or original video: http://t.co/wCWlfHi
Even though you might want to, you just can’t hug every cat. http://t.co/bPU8koN
The Continuing Adventures of Mary Hawksworth: “You can’t beat gas for a gas fire.”
@RealHelenCulver it was broken, and the new one looks pants too!
Run, Oscar in the forest, run! http://t.co/dNAv2iU
Something I’ve known for years! http://t.co/9NxiUz6
Philm 2011: King Arthur: Shit film with a half decent fight at the end.
What about fucking standards, you pricks! A bluray that doesn’t work on most bluray players, Christ! http://t.co/WuiNLiO
Well done William and Oscar for their first walkies off the lead!
Philm 2011: Easy A: Surprisingly amusing chick-esque flick.
Philm 2011: Operation Endgame: Something like Battle Royale only underground and with secret agents instead of Japanese schoolkids.
Philm 2011: Zombies of Mass Destruction: Two gay men, one Iranian woman and a frizzy haired woman against a town of dead people. Liked it.
Hate how the most retarded, stuck up, self important, lazy, ugly, ignorant twats make fortunes on TV for being uninteresting bastards.
When Will Young opens his mouth I just want to put my foot through it.
Her ex-boyfriend just told her to look at herself. Look at her! With those eyes what else can she do?! http://t.co/rlwwoA7
@emmawhite17 Lord O’ t’ Rings #YorkshireFilms
@djreid90 the first person who says either the books or films are better is going to get a bitchslap!
Job interview done… Pint in order I think!
Philm 2011: Adjustment Bureau: Inception – dreams + Matrix – virtual reality + trilby hat + Matt Damon + love interest = chickflick man film
Philm 2011: Beetlejuice: thin Baldwin makes model village infested by green toothed ghost of batman. he dies & they haunt happily ever after
Weird things I’ve seen this week: an air steward get a round of applause, two wasps making love and sun in England that was actually hot.
Philm 2011: The Rock: Nic Cage plays Nic Cage alongside Sean Connery who plays Sean Connery disabling chemical bombs and the good guys win.
Philm 2011: District 9: Prawn aliens plus man with Prawn arm against angry private army man fighting for black fuel juice.
Philm 2011: Terminator Salvation: Angry robots versus angry John Connor with voice like Batman
A man with an erection, a kid with a balloon, a human-sized carrot, a dolphin and a lama on a banana boat on the ocean. http://t.co/IY0xFRB
Sexual contact sexual contact! http://t.co/NpOIRhQ
Woof Bark. Crazy! http://t.co/FEQpwdS
Hope nobody ordered these hard drives! http://t.co/zO8b9FB
Homeboy! http://t.co/KuBOde7
Hide your kids! Hide your wife! http://t.co/viSqWXC
’Cos my Daddy taught me good! http://t.co/2630Oja
And I’m like Oh My God! Oh My God! http://t.co/YnJ8AsB
If you liked Identity, you’ll enjoy Shutter Island. If you thought the end of Identity was crap, you’ll feel the same about this.
Philm 2011: Shutter Island: Identity but set in the 1950s.
First it was Florida Ketchup, then Grass Bird Shit and now it’s: Kitchen Spider Drop! Only me, eh.
Never in my life have I seen such an innocent looking Senior Citizen prescription require so many carrier bags & trips back to the pharmacy!
Insert humorous and/or reflective commentary of the day’s unfoldage here.
@markhoppus “How’s life?”
Philm 2011: Black Sheep: bunch of pissed off zombie sheep chasing humans across farmland.
Philm 2011: Dead Snow. Bunch of pissed off Nazi zombies chasing gold in the snow.
I want it now, not the promises of what tomorrow brings. I need to live in dreams today, I’m tired of the song that sorrow sings.
And a third: http://t.co/dW8EJ92
And another: http://t.co/YJoebts
Top quality advertising: http://t.co/28OeHTJ
One tired doggy. http://t.co/N1zGHvH
We all appear to still be here. Thoroughly disappointing, if I’m honest.
The Expendables. Not sure which was better: the fighting, or the facelifts.
Film 2011 with Lesley. The Expendables: a bunch of soldiers on an island and they all get shot.
Charlotte and Lesley are waiting for the 10.08 to Rapture. It’s only 9.51. Feet’ll hurt soon.
Well, as long as the Bird is still The Word, Rapture can go shit on itself.
Apparently, it’s Philadelphia. So something like 11pm UK time. Not long now. Just cracked open a beer in anticipation.
World ends at 6pm in which time zone?